I don't care about tomorrow

I suddenly have this obsession over the new Chanel No 5 TV ad they had at the end of last year, it's the one with Nicole Kidman as the world's most famous woman and she uttered the most beautiful line any woman can say "I don't care about tomorrow".

There has always been a romantic in me, he has been dying slowly in recent years but once a while, he would show up and remind me that there is still some good inside. I guess I will always be susceptible to the notion or romance no matter how unrealistic it might be and there will always be a part of me thinking someday, I might get to experience that romance myself. Since we all know that idea of romance is fake and feelings like that don't really exist, does it mean I am forced to settle and live a life of wanting for more? And what is sadder than knowing that the one thing you want is the one thing you will never have?

The day after

Spring Break, 2005, has to be one of the most revealing spring breaks ever. A lot of things were revealed to me, things about friends, family and most importantly, about myself. It was a long journey, both physically and mentally, and it's going to make some changes in my life. Right now, most of the informations are in place, the goal is to analysis those information and make myself a better person. It is going to be difficult, but after all these years of slacking off and dodging problems, it should take some difficult time to make things right again.

No matter how hard I try, I will always be a part of my family, and there are some decisions that I will have to be involved in. My family need my support and my advice and it's time for me to face those responsiblities. Hiding behind "I can only take care of myself right now" is no longer an option, I have to at least get involved in the decision making process and finally "pick a side" in some of the drama back home.

I think I am growing apart with some of my friends, they have moved on into the early stage of a "family life". Settling down with a partner and getting into a routine in life, college days seem to be so far behind and married life is just around th corner. I am not there yet, and I hope I would never be forced into that situtation, I like to settle down some day, just not today, and probably not tomorrow either.

There is not a good way to end this post, maybe there shouldn't be an end to this post. A person should try to improve himself until the day he dies, and improvement is what I want. So there is no end for this post and I will just leave it kinda hanging like this.. ..