Pee in a cup

I have never peed(pee-ed?) in a cup before, at least till today. Mary Kay gave me a call today wanting me to give them some background info and a drug test. I am not sure how to take it, but the popular choice seems to point to a positive sign. It doesn't make much sense for a company to ask you to take a drug test if they are not considering to hire you. But again, you never know what's going to happen so I am not going to celebrate yet.

I am weird, even more so than most people might think. I like to think I am emotionally stable but in truth, I have mood swings just like anyone else. Sometime, I can be happy and optimistic but other time I can be very sad and pessimistic. Most people think I am eternally pessimistic and for a long time, I was. It's just difficult for me to enjoy happy moments because I always have this feeling in the back of my mind that good time can not last and I better not get used to it. I am not sure when or how that way of thinking started, it certainly has a root in traditional Chinese school thinking but I usually don't follow that school of philosophy.

Like I said before, no matter how much I dislike certain part of the Chinese culture, I can not escape the influence the culture has on me. I don't want to be white, I want to be Chinese, but only the good part but I can't escape a lot of the bad parts either.

.. this is a bad post, so i will stop now ..