The time is here, the time is now

In solitude, I find peace, it's a type of peace i don't wish to seek but it inevitably follows me where ever I go. There is always a part of me believing that I am wanted, that I am needed, by someone out there. The fantasy of that there is someone out there who can love me as much as I love her is just that, a fantasy. I don't know what's wrong with me, and no one is willing to tell me. Maybe I do know what's wrong with me and everyone has been telling me my whole life and I just don't listen. It doesn't matter. The result is the same, time and time again, I am back here, in a darkened room, in front of my computer, in solitude.

I imagine that this must be how it feels like the moment before death, the peace before impending death. Your fate is sealed so why struggle?