Dreams

I now know what's worse than nightmares. Last night, I had several dreams, the dreams were good, really good, so good that I even asked her to poke me in the face so I can verify if I am dreaming or not. Of course I was dreaming so I woke up.

Waking up from dreams and facing the reality is far worse than any nightmare.

happiness

How dare do I be happy?

Just as I expected

I finally signed up for a traffic tracking site to see how many people actually visit my blog, and the result came back as expected, absolutely no one!

I am not upset about that because it was done by design, but I suspect somewhere deep down in my mind, I secretly hope that there is someone who would find me interesting and read my post once a while. I mean, isn't that what every writer wants? An audience? No matter how big or small it might be?

I have this urge of going back to play WoW, it's just one of those urges to do things I shouldn't do. It's one of the things I have been fighting with myself for years, the urge to do things that I know it's not good for me. They are not major things like smoking and drinking, but minor things like playing games and eat badly. It's simple to reason myself out of doing drug or crap like that because the harm is just simply too great for the reward, but it's harder to stop myself from smaller things because you don't feel like you are really harming yourself at the moment, the negative effects won't show till much later.

My friend and I had this conversation about my inability to keep friendships, there is this usual two years cycle that I switch set of friends every two years. I came up with the conclusion that I am not very good at being active in a friendship, whenever I reach out to people, they seem to think I am kinda freaken and shy away from me. However, I am very good at listening to other people's problem and help them get through hard time, so the pattern becomes when people have problems, I help them out and we grew closer but when their lives are back to normal again, I become more distant with them. Not exactly sure what it means, just something we came up with.

This is a bad post, I know, because I am not exactly in a great condition right now. My eyes are itchy like hell and I am feeling a slight fever. Hopefully the condition will get better as the weather gets warmer.

If Arnold is a MIS professor

I usually don't complain about this, but I have nothing better to do right now

My MIS professor is the worst teacher I have ever had in recent memory. He sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger reading off the most boring script known in history. He reads off this extremely plain PowerPoint presentation word by word with this monotonic tone for 3 hour. About 1/3 of the class left in the first break and another 1/4 of the class left in the second break.

I don't blame them, the experience is just mind numbing, I have been reading every piece of information I can find on CNN, ESPN and Wired News. Now I have one more hour to kill with nothing better to do than to complain about the boring lecture on my blog.

I used to tell myself I am better than this, I am not going to let this blog fall into a record of my daily and routine life. Things like where I went, who I went with and what did I do once I got there just aren't important enough to waste people's time of reading(which is a big assumption that anyone is reading this, if you are, leave a comment and introduce yourself to me).

Here with me

First entry on the new laptop, hoping to be the first of many entries to come.

The last few weeks have been pretty good considering the circumstance that I am jobless and being generally worthless for over 6 months. Even though I have no income, I somehow managed to fool myself into buying a new laptop for 'school', but you have to give credit to where credit is due, this laptop is a pretty good bang for the bucks, so I guess you can find some positives in any situation.

In slightly over two hours, I am going to have the first exam of this semester; it's time to find out if I learned anything in economics for the last two years. For this class, I have not been taking any notes, have not purchased the book and I even managed to skipped one of three lectures so far. But again, this might be the only time that my worthless eco degree will do me some good and I might as well use it while I can

At the end of every semester, I always kick myself for not studying hard and give myself a chance for a good grade at the end, and I have having this feeling that I am walking down the same path again. I feel like one of those mentally illed who have no control but to hurt himself over and over again. I don't know why, maybe my laziness is so severe that it has become some type of disorder.

Anyway, back to studying